Eulogy

ws I know the people I’m speaking to know who I’m talking about)has changed the lives of millions of people, one of them being me. I was lucky to have the title of his wife(pronoun wife, marriage sign of love and reciprocated love), when I'm sure millions(repetition to show emphasis on how many people love him) of others would've given up everything to be in my place.

He was my umbrella in the rain, shielding me from the natural disasters of the world with his love and affection(metaphor, shows how his strength has lifted me even through the bad weather, means hes a good soul). His voice sang lullabies(the noun lullabies has connotations with children, is a nurturing thing that parents do, supposed to be soothing because it is paired with teenagers, its almost like they are his children)  to teenagers who had trouble sleeping. He put his heart and soul in to his music, and in reference to the lyrics 'these words are knives that often leave scars, the fear of falling apart'(use of quotations from song lyrics to show that eulogy is about a singer) is what his passing(euphemism for death, death is too harsh of a word especially for someone who loves him)has brought me, he will forever be a scar in my heart, and all of my broken pieces he had glued back together have shattered on to the floor(linking to song lyrics, relating it to myself to show personal connection with him)

The funny thing is, I wasn't even a fan of his music when I met him, I was just a hair stylist on the job(talking about job contrast, shows he’s famous). Of course, I knew who he was in the public eye- a singer/ song writer but I didn’t know who he was(italics and repetition shows double meaning, second is about his personality and a more in depth analysis of him as a person) . It wasn't until he pulled me on stage and serenaded me simply because he 'thought I did an awesome job on his hair'(anecdote, shows I know him personally), that I realised what a genuine and passionate person he was, that he felt so deeply about such small things. Back then I didn't understand the complexity of amazing emotions he could bring to something that he truly loved.

Ah(shows that I know what genre I am writing in, as it is something used in speech), do not get me(another hidden meaning, I am going to talk about the wedding, this shows emphasis on my extreme thoughts on it) started on how he planned the wedding. As you all know(shows that this is at a funeral, so context relevant because im saying that I know everyone at the wedding knows Brendon), Brendon is a bit of a crazy man. Not a lot of you actually saw the ceremony because he wanted to make it small and heartfelt, for us to just focus on each other and our love for one another. But in a nutshell, it was honestly the most picturesque romantic venue I've ever seen.

It was held on a black sand beach, with electric blue fairy lights, and brightly painted rose petals trailing up the aisle(describing the scene so audience knows what I’m talking about) The song playing in the background was his song 'I write sins not tragedies' which funny enough was a dark take on weddings, the thing most hilarious though is that whilst I loved this song, he hated it. It was also the first song I heard of his band.(everything is anecdotal, shows personal relationship with him)

Once I had made my way to him, he placed a blue lily in my hair, and sang his vows to me. I’ve never been so blown away in one single moment.

You want to know the best part? The beach was where we had our first date. He had even created a little picnic basket for when we finished our ceremony, full of our favourite foods. (interrogative shows admiration, all anecdotal)

Now, what you will all remember is when I arrived on horse and carriage (to which I had joked to him about when we had talked about wedding plans, but I had secretly really wanted) at the theme park he had rented out for all of our friends and family for the night. His memory was absolutely amazing,(complimentary, shows appreciation for him) because he led me to the Ferris wheel, and once we got to the top he laced his fingers with mine and said 'I love you' in the exact spot where we had first confessed our love to one another.

I'm sorry for my sniffling,(genre relevant)but from starting as two love struck twenty year olds and finishing at our diamond wedding anniversary, he’s deeply intertwined in my memory. I feel as though he’s here with us all now, laughing at all of our soggy faces and flushed cheeks.

I just can't believe how the world has not fallen apart without his beautiful soul being here, because I sure have.

I love you, Beebo,(apostrophe, also pronoun and nickname to show bond between the two of us) I'll see you up there soon my Knight in shining tin foil.( play on common saying ‘knight in shining armour’ but took my twist on it to make it humorous)

Katie Hopkins, or better known as 'the biggest bitch in Britain' has finally reached her timely demise. She managed to survive from the 13th of February 1975 till the 13th of February's 2015, aged 40- even in death her wishes to be 'perfect' were seemingly achieved with her her first and last breath being taken in symmetry.

Did her unwanted opinions tip her over the boiling point in society? It seems that former apprentice star got too big for her boots. Isn't it awkward that she thought just because she was a celebrity, she was safe from the hatred of others pointing the guns to her head?

From her rejection of 'fat people', judging of children's names based on her views of social class to her appreciation for worldly horrific diseases like 'ebola', this contradictory celeb created a worldwide 'hate base'. It seems that even the ones she thought loved her(AKA her husband Mark Cross, and her children) didn't even shed a genuine tear at her funeral. Police had to drag people away from trampling on her grave, whilst many sang the hit song 'celebration by Kool and the gang' metres away from the ceremony taking place.

Radio host: Thanks for tuning in to BBC Radio 1, today we have_____ from _____ to give us some information and answer some of your calls on how his journey across the world has been in the past six months! Say hey ____!

____:haha hey

Radio host: First, would it be okay for me to ask you some questions?

_____:sure go ahead

Radio host: (LIST OF QUESTIONS ASKING ABOUT WHERE HES BEEN, HAS HE ENJOYED IT ETC)

_____: (ANSWERS QUESTIONS)

Radio host: Right, who do we have here on line 1?

(SPENDS COUPLE OF MINUTES ANSWERING CALLS)